You know, this whole dating thing these days ain’t like it used to be. Back in my day, you met someone at the church social or the town fair, and that was that. Now everyone’s fiddlin’ with these apps on their phones. My grandkids told me about one called “Hinge.” Apparently, it’s got these things called “prompts” that you gotta answer.
Prompts? Like, someone’s whisperin’ somethin’ at you? It all sounds like a big ol’ mess to me. But the young’uns say it’s how you gotta find someone nowadays. So, I peeked at their phones to see what all the fuss is about.
- “This year I really want to…” Well, ain’t that a silly question? Who doesn’t want something? I want my tomatoes to grow big and juicy, I want the hens to lay good eggs, and I want the rheumatiz to leave me alone! I guess if I was on this Hinge thing, I’d say I want to finally learn how to use that fancy new sewing machine Ethel got. It’s got buttons and lights and all sorts of gizmos. Scares me half to death.
Then there’s stuff like “A boundary of mine is…” What in tarnation does that even mean? Sounds like something you’d find on a map, not on a dating app. I reckon if I had to answer, I’d say, “Don’t you dare step on my prize petunias!” Those things are delicate, you know.
- “A life goal of mine…” Another one of them silly questions. My goal is to wake up every mornin’ and not ache too much. And maybe see my grandkids get married and have some babies of their own. I suppose I could say I wanna learn to make that fancy lemon meringue pie Betty makes. Hers is always so light and fluffy.
They got one called “A quick rant about…” Oh, don’t even get me started! I could rant for hours! About the price of eggs, about the teenagers drivin’ too fast down my road, about those dang squirrels eatin’ all the birdseed. But I guess you ain’t supposed to sound like a grumpy old lady on these things. So maybe I’d rant about how nobody appreciates a good handwritten letter anymore. Everyone’s always tappin’ away on their phones.
- “A random fact I love is…” Random? What’s so random about facts? Facts are facts. Like how the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Or how you gotta water your plants if you want ’em to grow. I guess I could say I love the fact that hummingbirds can fly backwards. Always amazes me, those little things.
Then there’s this “shower thought” thing. What kinda thoughts you havin’ in the shower that you need to share with strangers? I reckon my shower thoughts are mostly about how I need to scrub the mildew outta the grout. But maybe I could say somethin’ like, “I wonder if ants ever get lost on their way back to the anthill.”
“All I ask is that you…” Well, that’s a loaded question! All I ask is that you be a decent person. Treat people with respect, lend a helping hand when you can, and don’t leave your dirty socks on the livin’ room floor! But I guess on this Hinge thing, you gotta be all flirty and whatnot. So maybe I’d say, “All I ask is that you bring the coffee and the conversation.”
And then there’s the pictures. They say you gotta have good pictures. Not like those old Polaroids I got stuffed in a shoebox. No, these gotta be all fancy and show off your “best self.” My best self is usually covered in flour or garden dirt. And forget about those group pictures. Who knows which one you are in a crowd of people? And they say no pictures from ten years ago. Well, what if that’s when you looked your best? It’s all a bit much, if you ask me.
They also say you gotta be “authentic.” Well, I ain’t nothin’ if I ain’t authentic. What you see is what you get. I ain’t gonna pretend to be someone I’m not. If they don’t like me for who I am, well, that’s their loss.
Honestly, this whole Hinge thing sounds like a lot of work. Back in my day, you just looked someone in the eye and knew. But I guess times change. If this is how the young’uns are findin’ love these days, well, more power to ’em. Just don’t ask me to set up a profile.
Tags: dating, hinge, prompts, online dating, relationships, profiles, advice
